Scattered
by Dire Banshee
Summary: No one had known what to expect from the amulet Angel had given Buffy. A variety of scenarios had run through their heads but none of them had even come close to what had actually happened... the lives of the Scoobies after an AU end to season 7.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Spike and Xander are the property of Joss Whedon, Anita and company are the thought forms of Laurell K. Hamilton. I make no profit from this, just the reviews needed to feed my muse.

Takes place during 'Danse Macabre', very minor spoilers.

No one had known what to expect from the amulet Angel had given Buffy. A variety of scenarios had run through their heads but none of them had even come close to what had actually happened. The Hellmouth had exploded in a rush of mystical energy, blowing a hole the size of Los Angeles into the ground where Sunnydale had stood and flinging the Scoobies and mini Slayers through space and time, scattering them throughout the dimensions with no way to get back home. Which was how, one year later, Xander came to be standing in Jean-Claude's living room, wondering why the Master of the City had summoned them and searching the crowd of visiting vamps and shifters for the white-blonde head of his own vampire; the only face from home to have landed in the same world.

Xander felt a thrill go through him when he spotted Spike weaving through the crowd, wondering, not for the first time, what his friends would think of his relationship with the vampire. Yes, relationship. Over the past year they had become allies, friends, and eventually lovers, though Xander balked a bit at the term. Sure, his feelings toward the bleached menace weren't all of the hate, stake, kill mantra anymore but he was definitely almost certain that none of them were of the lovey variety. And yes, Egypt was a nice piece of real estate no matter which reality he happened to be in. Spike startled him out of his thoughts by wrapping strong arms around his waist and resting his chin on the taller mans shoulder.

"What are you thinking on so hard, pet?"

Xander shrugged.

"Just wondering why JC wanted us here so bad."

"You," Spike replied.

"Huh?"

"He wanted you here, not us."

Xander turned to Spike.

"Me? Why?"

"Dunno," Spike shrugged. "But I think it has something to do with the Master of Cape Cod."

"Isn't he the one who brought his sons for Anita's pommes de sang?"

The vampire nodded.

"I think there's more to it though. Word is, he can call merpeople."

Xander looked at him, wide eyed. His life had never really been normal after meeting Buffy but since coming to this new world Xander had set some new personal records. Thanks to his run in with the hyena primal, his adventures with the swim team, and the weird metaphysics of this world Xander was no longer completely human. The first time he'd taken a shower he'd cracked his head open when his legs had suddenly fused together and turned into a scaled tail and fins had grown on his forearms and along his spine then on the first full moon he'd sprouted fur and turned into a hyena in the middle of Anita's kitchen. He had his eye back though it had been no picnic when Narcissus had reopened the empty socket.

"You don't think that he wants to take me with him, do you?"

He didn't think that Jean-Claude would make him leave if he didn't want to. JC was very good about not forcing his people to do anything they didn't want to and Xander was happy with his life as one of the vampires' people. Being one of the only merpeople in the Midwest made him a star attraction at the Circus and a bit of a novelty among the other shifters at Guilty Pleasures where he occasionally filled in if one of the other dancers called in sick. He'd never admitted it to Willow or Buffy but he had kind of liked filling in for the dancers on his ill-fated cross-country trip. Spike had quite the GP fan base as well and had convinced Xander to share the stage with him once. Reflecting back Xander realized that that dance had been the turning point in their relationship.

Spike growled in response to his question.

"He'll have me to go through if he does."

"What has the two of you looking so grave, _mes_ _amis_?" Jean-Claude's liquid velvet voice washed over them.

Xander shrugged but Spike spoke up.

"What exactly does this Cape Cod Master want with Xan?" he demanded.

"Certainly not to take him away, if that is what you were thinking. He wishes merely to ask a favor."

Xander and Spike shared a look.

"What kind of favor?" Xander asked.

Several moments later found them in front of Samuel, the Master of the City of Cape Cod, and his wife, Leucothea or Thea. The siren was a very beautiful woman, nearly six feet tall with pale skin and hair. A circlet of silver rested on her white-blonde head, three pearls set into it with tiny diamonds surrounding them. Her eyes were black, marking her as other. Xander had seen his own eyes take on that color, usually when he was all fishy but sometimes when his emotions ran high they changed from his normal brown to that black to the grey green of his hyena. Those black eyes studied Xander more intensely than he liked.

"Alexander," Thea said, circling him. "I have heard many things about you."

"Well, uh, don't believe everything you hear," Xander said nervously. She was reminding him, uncomfortably, of a shark.

"But I would very much like to believe this of you."

"Believe what?" he asked, fighting the urge to hide behind Spike.

"That you are what I seek," Thea breathed, stepping close.

"And what's that?"

"A siren," she whispered then leaned in and kissed him.

Demon magnet, Xander Harris, strikes again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Her power pushed at his defenses and he swallowed it down. Xander was immediately surrounded by the scent and sound of the sea, he could smell the salt on the air, taste it in Thea's mouth. There was a song in his head, words he couldn't quite hear, a tune he lost as soon as he'd heard it. A voice whispered through his head.

"You are."

Suddenly there were hands on his shoulders and he was pulled away from those salty lips, that haunting song. Xander came back to himself slowly, blinking black eyes as he met Spike's concerned blue. Looking down at himself he found a tail instead of legs, his new pants shredded. Great. Just great.

"What happened?" he asked around sharpened teeth.

"What did you do to him!" Spike demanded.

Thea was looking far too pleased with herself and Samuel was trying his best to keep his face blank but the pleasure shown out of his eyes.

"Thank you, my boy," he said to Xander. "You may have just saved my family."

"Huh?" was Xander's articulate reply.

Thea knelt beside him, ignoring Spike's growl of warning, and stared at Xander with a look in her dark eyes he couldn't quite decipher. Xander cuddled into Spike, as relaxed as he could be given the situation. Normally he was self-conscious when he was half-naked, especially when it was the bottom half uncovered, even in his half hyena form, but the fish form was different. Mers were like real fish when they had their tails, everything was on the inside. Normally, when they bred, the females would lay eggs in a special nursery and the males would swim over the clutch and release their own brand of caviar to fertilize them, so no outside equipment equaled no embarrassment for the Xan-man, or mer-man as the case may be.

"How's that?" Spike asked.

It was Thea who answered.

"I thought myself the last of my kind but he is as I am. A siren. Or he will be after he is brought into his power then he will bring our sons into theirs."

Samuel drew his wife to her feet.

"Thea, dear, perhaps we should allow him some time to acclimate himself to the idea."

"What idea?" Xander asked, his confusion bleeding the black from his eyes and the scales from his lower body. Suddenly finding himself naked, Xander grabbed the remains of his pants and covered Xander Jr. who was no longer inside his fishy self but hanging in the proverbial breeze.

"You are a siren, Alexander. One who has not been brought into his power but one nonetheless. I could bring you into that power. I could make you shine like a jewel in the depths of the sea."

"How?" he asked, somewhat afraid of the answer. If he was completely honest with himself, Thea scared the shit out of him.

"We lay together and my power will call to yours, opening you to it."

"We have to have sex?" he shouted then blushed as everyone who wasn't already watching the spectacle they had made turned to look.

"We are creatures of flesh, it is our way."

"Wait, wait, wait just a minute," Xander said, rising to his feet, destroyed jeans clutched to his crotch. "You said that if I get brought into my power that then I can bring your sons into theirs."

Thea nodded.

"You want me to have sex with your sons!"

Xander was proud of himself. As hysterical as he felt, he sounded calm when he spoke. Thea looked confused.

"You are a lover of men," she said. "I had heard that you enjoyed women as well, were these rumors wrong? Do you find intercourse with me distasteful?"

"What? No! And, and not men, just man, one, man and how, how do you know that your kids even wanna have sex with me? I mean, maybe they don't like guys that way and aren't you married? I don't think Sammy would like you and me getting together very much and..."

"My husband knows that there are certain things that must be done and Sampson does enjoy both sexes though he prefers women."

Xander turned away and began pacing, a habit he'd picked up from Spike, and raked a hand through his hair, nudity momentarily forgotten.

"This is just too weird and pants, I need some pants. Excuse me."

With that he very calmly fled the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Spike was uncharacteristically silent as Xander searched for some pants in the collection of clothing that seemed to accumulate from the different shifters that frequented the underground living quarters at the Circus. Xander had just pulled on a pair of grey slacks made out of some kind of soft material when a knock sounded at the door.

"Who is it?" Spike demanded.

Instead of a reply the door opened and a man roughly Xander's age entered the room. Spike glared. He knew who the man was.

"What do you want?"

"I've come to apologize for my mother," Sampson said, quietly shutting the door. "She gets a bit carried away at times."

Spike snorted derisively.

"You don't say?"

"Spike," Xander said softly. He was so tired all of a sudden, he just wanted the night to be over. The vampire crossed his arms, leaned against a wall, and was silent. Xander turned to the new man in the room.

"You're, uh, Sampson, right?"

Sampson nodded and held out a hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alexander."

The move surprised Xander. JC had told them that Samuel ran a very formal kiss and a handshake was far from a formal vamp greeting. Shrugging internally he took the offered hand and gave it a firm shake.

"It's Xander," he said. "Only my parents called me Alexander."

"Xander then," Sampson said with a smile. He moved to the small table and set of four chairs in one corner and motioned for the other men to sit before taking his own seat and speaking. "As I said before, I've come to apologize for Mother's actions and to maybe explain our situation."

"Go for it," Xander said. "This is already one of the weirdest nights of my life and for me that's saying something."

Sampson smiled then sobered.

"My mother is not human," he said. "She never was and she does not think as a human would. She is very nearly desperate to have myself and my brothers brought into our siren powers, even if those means seem somewhat extreme to humans or former humans."

"Your dad said something about me saving his family," Xander said into the silence. "What did he mean?"

The entire episode with Thea and Samuel had been replaying in Xander's head since he'd left the main room.

"The only way to bring a siren into his or her powers is sex with another siren," Sampson said and Xander nodded. "Several years ago she tried to bring me into my powers. I said no and she stopped, she didn't understand why I was so horrified but she accepted my answer."

Spike's jaw clenched as a vivid memory of his own, albeit newly turned, mother coming on to him flashed through his brain. Xander put a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder as Sampson quickly continued.

"You must understand that Mother comes from a time where she and her people were worshipped as gods."

"The gods were always screwing their own family members," Spike said. At Xander's look he jumped to his own defense. "What? I went to school."

Sampson nodded.

"Our Mother does not think it wrong for her to be the one to bring our powers on-line and now that my brothers are getting to be of age my father fears that she may try to awaken their powers. I am nearly seventy years old but my brothers are only seventeen and Father and I do not believe their wills to be as strong as mine yet, Father doesn't believe that they would be able to stand up to her if she pushed enough. He has threatened to kill her if she tries, as he did when she came to me, but I fear that the temptation to add so much power to our family may be too much for her."

Xander sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.

"So if I don't let her bring my powers on-line then she might go for your little brothers and then your dad will kill her but if I do let her make me a siren then I'm supposed to have sex with you and your two brothers."

"That is what Mother plans," Sampson said.

"God, I really wanna help you guys out but this is just so wrong on so many different levels! It's like ... incest by proxy."

Sampson chuckled.

"That may be but if you are willing, I could speak with Mother, maybe convince her that there would be no rush to bring our powers once you were a siren. Buy us all some time, so to speak. You would be immortal, or close to it, so there would be no rush, we could let things happen naturally and give us all, well, years to think on it."

Xander sighed again and looked to Spike.

"What do you think?" he asked.

The vampire was silent for a moment.

"Normally I'd say that I don't wanna share you and their family be damned, but it's up to you, Xan. I may not like it but I'll support your decisions and all that rot."

Xander was quiet again then took a breath.

"I'll do it, the siren thing. Maybe with me around it'll take the pressure off your parents but that's the only sex I'm having with your family 'till I can wrap my mind around this a little better."

Sampson looked relieved.

"Thank you, Xander. I will tell my parents."

He rose to leave.

"We are in your debt."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Disclaimer: See chapter one. Takes place after Anita and Jean-Claude feed on Augustine of Chicago.

Xander slumped against a wall, Spike's head in his lap. God, what had Anita and JC done? He'd never felt anything like it. He laughed out loud, not even caring that it came out as the eerie hyena cackle he couldn't seem to get rid of.

"That was nifty," Spike muttered, then giggled. If asked later he'd deny the whole thing, because William the Bloody _did not_ giggle, but he just felt so damn good that it seemed like the thing to do at the time.

"Those two sure know how to throw a party," Xander said.

"I quite agree," a voice said.

Spike and Xander both leaped to their feet, euphoria of the moment forgotten.

"Sampson has said that you have agreed to me bringing you into your powers."

Xander nodded, mutely.

"Right," Spike said. "He'll do this siren thing with you but your kids'll have to wait. I'm a possessive bloke and lettin' you have your way with him is about all I can handle right now."

Thea studied the vampire, head cocked to one side like a predatory bird, then nodded.

"Very well."

She smiled.

"Samuel does not share well, either. I thought it best to come to you without him."

She held out a hand and Xander automatically took it, looking slightly startled when she began pulling him toward one of the empty bedrooms.

"Wait, you wanna do it now?"

"Sorry to interrupt," a new voice said, startling the three. "But I need to borrow Xander and William."

Xander and Spike stared, wide eyed at the new comer.

"Angel?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Two**

**Faerie-tale**

Chapter One

The characters of Buffy and Faith belong to Joss Whedon, this world and the characters within belong to Laurell K. Hamilton. I only play and bow down in supplication to the masters.

Takes place years after 'A Lick of Frost', minor spoilers for the end of that book.

Buffy ran through the woods surrounding the faerie mounds, determined to catch the creature racing ahead of her. It was fast but, despite being heavily pregnant, Buffy was still a Slayer. Putting on an extra burst of speed, the blonde pounced, scooping the squealing child into her arms and spinning around several times.

"Aunt Buffy!" Rose complained. "You not post ta catch me yet!"

"I'm not?" the blonde asked, feigning confusion.

The dark haired child in her arms crossed her own and shook her head solemnly.

"Huh," Buffy said and quickly flipped the girl upside down, eliciting a shriek at a decibel that only little girls can produce. Well, little girls and jet engines.

"Well, now that I've got you," the Slayer continued, swinging the giggling girl from side to side. "What should I do with you?"

"Aunt Buffy! Put me down!"

Buffy paused to consider the demand, a devilish twinkle in her tri-colored eyes.

"No, I don't think I wanna do that."

The Slayer started pacing, seemingly lost in thought, then reached down and tickled Rose making her scream again. She wiggled frantically and Buffy had to stop and adjust her grip on the three-year-old before she fell on her head, then tickled her again.

"No fair!" Rose shouted. "Sissy, help!"

Buffy glanced up and caught sight of Rose's twin, Mary, peering at them from behind a tree, obviously torn between remaining free or attempting to help her sister and maybe getting her own turn with Buffy the Tickle Monster. The choice was soon taken from her, however, as her mother snuck up behind her and pulled her into her arms, making the normally quiet girl let out a shriek to rival those of her sister.

"Mommy!" Rose cried happily.

A quick glance down showed Buffy that Rose's face was turning as red as her namesake and the blonde quickly righted the toddler, setting her on her feet.

"You sure you're ready for one of your own, B?" Faith asked coming toward them, Mary wrapped around her neck.

Buffy shrugged, a hand on her rounded belly.

"Eh. They're not so bad."

Faith grinned and gave Rose a kiss on her forehead, then did the same to Mary.

"So how's my girls? You guys havin' fun with your Aunt Buffy?"

"She catcheded me too fast," Rose complained.

Faith grinned at her sister Slayer.

"Yeah, she does that a lot," the dark haired woman said.

"What's that?" Mary suddenly asked.

"What's what, baby?" Faith asked.

Mary was silent then pointed into the trees.

"That. That noise."

Frowning, the two Slayers were silent, straining their supernatural hearing to discover what the little girl had heard. Then, they heard it, too. It was far off, something thrashing in the underbrush and bellowing. Not a predator sound, something with hooves.

"What do you think, B?" Faith asked. "A deer, maybe?"

Buffy shrugged.

"Dunno, but it sounds like it's caught somewhere."

"Can we help it, Mommy?" Rose asked.

"I don't know, Rosie," she said. If it was just her and Buffy, she'd already be halfway there, but they had her babies with them and hooves could injure just as easily as claws and fangs.

"Please, Mommy," Mary added her plea. "Can we please help it?"

Faith looked from one pitiful face to the other, then sighed.

"Okay."

The girls immediately cheered up.

"But," Faith cut into their excitement. "You do exactly what me and your Aunt Buffy say and you stay back from it. Deal?"

"Deal," Rose immediately agreed and held out a hand to shake on it.

"Uh-huh," Mary mumbled and buried her face in Faith's shoulder.

"Okay."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The animal wasn't as far away as they had first thought. They had gone thirty feet at the most when suddenly, there it was. A white stag, its impressive antlers caught in a thorny bush, unable to tear its way out. The creature's struggling had only succeeded in catching its shaggy coat in the brambles and it was well and truly stuck. It paused, panting, one blue eye trained on the newcomers, assessing the threat as it rested. The twins watched it with wide eyes.

"Help it, Mommy," Rose whispered.

The two girls were set on their feet, with strict instructions to stay behind the large tree, before the two Slayers cautiously made their way to the stag's side. The creature was eerily still, even allowing Faith to lay her hand on its back. Buffy paused with her right hand hovering over its back, her tri-colored eyes wide.

"What's wrong, B?" Faith asked.

"This isn't an animal," she said.

Faith immediately backed away, putting herself between the stag and her girls and dropping into a defensive crouch. She called her hand of power, deep purple and blue flames flickered over her left hand, and the twins ducked behind the tree at the show of power. Buffy still stood by the stag, her hand hovering over its back, as it silently regarded her.

"B?"

Almost in a trance, the blonde slayer lowered her right hand, the one that held the Hand of Truths, and stroked the stag's back. Time seemed to slow, like nature took a sudden breath, then it rushed into fast forward. The stag reared back, tearing itself free of the brambles, then began to... Well, quiver was the best description Faith could come up with. Its silky white fur shimmered as waves spread out from Buffy's hand, like ripples in a pond. The stag began to change and Faith turned to scoop up her girls when Mary pointed behind the dark haired slayer.

"Mommy, look."

"Faith," Buffy called at the same time.

Faith turned.

"What the..?"

There, where the stag had stood, was a man. A very tall, very naked, very unconscious man. Something niggled at the back of her mind, something telling her that she should know this man, but she had never seen him before. After telling Rose and Mary to stay put, Faith joined Buffy at the mans side.

"Who is that, Mommy?" Mary asked.

Faith suddenly gasped, the pieces clicking into place. It was the hair that clinched it for Faith, the long, silver hair, like Christmas tree tinsel. This was the Missing Father, the Lost King. This was...

"Frost."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See chapter one

The two Slayers raced through the woods, Faith in the lead even though she was dwarfed by the large frame of the unconscious man in her arms. Frost, the Lost King. No one had seen him, in his present from at least, for over six years. Not since the night Meredith, Queen of the Unseelie Sidhe, had discovered that she had won the throne only to lose one of the fathers of her children, and Faith was still trying to wrap her mind around that particular fact. How did one child have three biological fathers? Doyle had said that wild magics were out the night the Prince and Princess were conceived, by way of explanation and Faith just had to accept it as truth. Hell, the same wild magics had turned both her and Buffy into Sidhe, what was a little genetic manipulation?

Buffy reached the Unseelie mound first, the door opening almost before she touched it. The sithen had developed the habit of doing that ever since the night the blonde had gotten fed up with playing Ring Around the Mound and started using her fists to make her own door. Faith raced into the large hallway, pausing only long enough to call out, "We need the Queen."

They turned the corner and slowed their pace as the giant roses that guarded the Main Chamber came into view. The great doors swung open on their own and the slayers swept inside. Buffy stopped so suddenly that Faith almost ran her over. It was completely silent inside, so quiet one could have heard a pin drop, but, since no one had a pin handy, all gathered heard the simultaneous whispers of, "Angel?" and "Frost?"

Meredith abandoned the throne and raced across the stone floor toward the man Faith held as Buffy let the twins slide to the floor and slowly covered the distance between herself and the souled vampire. Doyle was only a step behind the Queen, stepping forward to take his old friend from the small woman holding him.

"We found him in the woods," she said as she picked up her children. "He was still a stag, caught up in some brambles 'til B touched him with her truth hand."

Merry looked at Faith with tears shining in her tri-colored eyes.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you both."

Then she turned her attention to her husband, husbands? (Faith's head hurt when she delt with these people) and called for Ffleur to attend to Frost. After watching the small group disappear, probably to the royal bedroom, Faith turned her attention to the Buffy and Angel Show. The two were always good for a few laughs and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen when Buffy's big blue demi-god of a hubby interfered, which looked to happen any second now.

Angel couldn't help but stare at the tiny, blonde, and very pregnant slayer. She was radiant. Her golden skin glowed softly as she stared up at him with eyes of blue, hazel, and a gold that gleamed like metal.

"Congratulations," was the first thing he could think of to say.

"Eloquent, as usual, Deadboy," Faith said, unable to resist using Xander's nickname for Angel, and snickering at the look the vamp turned on her. Then he arched an eyebrow.

"Congratulations to you too, Faith," he said.

Faith grinned at her girls.

"Yeah, who'd've thought, huh?"

"Angel?" Buffy asked again.

Faith choked back a laugh.

"Very articulate, B," she said as Barinthus finally joined the group and pulled the small (next to him, who wasn't? Hell, he even made Angel look fragile) woman into his arms.

Buffy blinked rapidly and seemed to recover.

"Angel, what? How? Why are you here?"

Barinthus looked down his nose at the vampire, immediately assessing just who this man was and what he had been to his wife.

"This is the vampire you loved," he said and Buffy nodded, though it hadn't been a question.

"Yeah. Barinthus, this is Angel. Angel, this is Barinthus, my husband."

The vampire was silent for a moment (probably brooding, Faith thought) then held out a hand. Barinthus looked at the appendage, as though not quite sure what to do with it, before extending his own.

"Just be good to her," the vampire said. "She deserves to be happy."

"I intend to do all in my power to see her so," the sidhe replied.

"Not to interrupt the love fest or anything," Faith said. "But Buffy brings up a good point. Why are you here?"

Angel sighed and ran a hand through his spiky hair.

"It's the First."

The two Slayers immediately stiffened.

"I need your help," he said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part Three**

**Heaven, or Andrew, the Savior of Middle Earth**

The characters of Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, the One Ring, Fellowship thereof, and other associated people/places/things are the property of J. R. R. Tolken. I only borrow for entertainment not profit.

The Fellowship of the Ring watched with amused curiosity as the large dark-haired man attempted to pry Andrew off of the tree he was clinging to.

"C'mon, Andrew," Wood said, attempting to help Angel. "We've gotta go."

"No," the blond wailed. "This is my reward! This is where I belong! I helped the Slayers defeat the First, it's not my fault It got sucked into another dimension!"

Gunn leaned against another tree, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

"Do we really need him?" he asked.

"Wes said that the major players in the last battle with the First all have to be there and Buffy said that he," Angel indicated the blond. "Was key in opening the seal It's army was under."

"It wasn't really that much," Robin said, joining Gunn, more at ease with the other man than the vampire, even if he did have a soul. "All Andrew did was shed some blood and say some words. I think that I could take his place."

"Really?" Andrew asked, quickly slipping out of the vampire's grip. Angel ended up on his butt in the dirt, vamp reflexes not quite able to keep up with the hyper human. Gunn hid a laugh behind his hand and faked a cough.

Andrew was in front of Robin, down on his knees and gripping the man's hand, looking up at him adoringly. The former principal just looked uncomfortable.

"Thank you," the blond gushed. "Thank you so much!"

He turned to Angel who was picking himself up off of the ground.

"See, he can go with you and defeat the First and I can stay here and defeat Sauron! Everybody wins!"

"Andrew, get up!" Wood demanded, yanking his hand back. "You're embarrassing yourself, and me."

"You're sure that we don't need him?" Angel asked, discretely brushing off the seat of his pants, his look daring Gunn to say anything.

Robin looked over at Andrew, who was happily rejoining the other group, and nodded.

"Trust me, we'll be fine."

"Okay," Angel said then whispered the words to open the portal.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part Four**

**And a Bottle of Rum**

I don't own BTVS or Pirates of the Caribbean, sad but true :(

Takes place after the end of 'At World's End'

Chapter One

Anya lay on the wheel deck of the Black Pearl, soaking in the warm rays of the Caribbean sun until a shadow blocked it out. Opening one eye, she settled her gaze on Giles.

"Hello, Ripper," she greeted brightly, sitting up. "Did you find the books you were looking for?"

"I did," he replied, taking a seat beside the former demon.

"So, have you figured out where we are?"

Giles, or Ripper as he was once more called, reached for glasses that were no longer there before dropping his hand to his side.

"Well, according to the spell I found, we are in a dimension incredibly similar to our own, merely in the past."

"Oh," she said, tugging the hem of her shirt down to cover her tanned stomach as the other men began boarding the ship. "Does... does that mean you can get us back?"

Giles was silent for a moment, staring out at the blue, blue ocean, listening to the sounds of general chaos coming from the port side town. Ethan would have loved this place, even if they didn't have the amenities they had grown accustomed to, it being the past and all.

"Do you want to go back?" he asked at length. "I thought you rather enjoyed being the Captain's lady?"

Anya laughed at the roguish grin he sent her way.

"Jack is very good in bed," she replied. "And the treasure is nice, even though it's not exactly come by honestly. I was really getting the hang of capitalism back home, but I'm sure I could have a very good life here."

She trailed off and looked to the ex-Watcher.

"What about you? Do you want to stay?"

"I wouldn't mind staying, really," Giles confessed. "What man hasn't dreamed of being a pirate at one time or another?"

He grinned again then sobered.

"I just... It would be easier if I knew what happened to Buffy, if she were happy."

Anya nodded.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I mean, I really like Jack, don't get me wrong, but ... Xander. I'm sure he's fine, where ever he is. I just wish I knew for sure."

"Wish granted," a cheery female voice chirped. "Isn't that what you always said?"

"Good Lord," Giles said, standing. "Cordelia?"

Then he caught sight of her companion.

"And Angel."

The vampire nodded his acknowledgement, a smile curving his lips as he took in their surroundings.

"That's a new look," he said, indicating Giles' clothes.

Giles chuckled, once again reaching for glasses that weren't there.

"What are you doing here, Angel? How?"

It was Cordelia who answered.

"Didn't you hear? I'm all Higher-Power Girl now, totally freelance. Figured They owed me one."

"We need your help," Angel said. "It's the First."

"Dear Lord! We didn't defeat it?"

"I'm afraid not. When the Hellmouth blew, everyone left there, including the First, was sucked into different dimensions. Wes figures that it's only a matter of time before It finds a way to bleed the worlds together. We're not really sure where It is but Cordelia says that we need everyone who was there at the end to stop It."

"Jeez, Angel," Cordelia said. "Take a breath."

He ducked his head but grinned at her nonetheless.

"We need you guys to come back with us," he finished.

"And I wonder, silently and to myself," Jack's voice sounded. "Just what sort of man boards another man's ship without so much as a by-your-leave, with designs to steal away the first man's lady fair to parts unknown when the second man has such a bonny, albeit, oddly dressed lass all his own?"

Anya smiled and stood, quickly making her way to the pirate's side.

"Jack," she said. "This is Angel and the woman in white is Cordelia. They're some of the people I told you about. Remember?"

"I seem to recall," he replied, studying the two.

"They're friends," she stressed the last word.

"Angel is more of an acquaintance, actually," Giles cut in.

"Is he now?" Jack asked. "This would be the vampire then?"

Anya nodded.

"I've never met a vampire before," he said, invading Angel's personal space and circling him as he spoke. "Cursed pirates, Davy Jones, and a former demon, but not a current one."

Jack stopped in front of Angel, his head cocked to one side.

"Tell me," he said. "What's it like to live forever?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See chapter one

After convincing Jack that vampirism probably wasn't the ideal form of immortality, Angel and Cordelia had fled to Giles' cabin. Cordelia was currently in deep conversation with the former Watcher, discussing her new life as a higher power, while Angel watched Anya and Jack on the dock below as she attempted to convince him that, 'no, he really didn't need to come with her to defeat the First'. Tuning out the pair below, Angel finally voiced the question he'd wanted to ask since first arriving.

"How did you wind up a pirate?"

Giles looked up with a distracted, "Hm?

"Oh, when the Hellmouth, um..."

"Went nuclear?" Cordelia supplied.

"Well, yes," he grinned at her. "We actually arrived on a beach in Florida where Jack had just beached a dinghy left to him by those who had taken his ship. This ship, actually. He was searching for the Fountain of Youth."

That piqued Angel's interest.

"Did he find it?"

"No, we were forced to take to the open ocean before a proper search could be conducted."

There was a story behind that, they could tell, but before Angel could push for more Anya entered the cabin, a slight frown marring her pretty features.

"Is everything all right, Anya?" Giles asked.

She looked up and pasted on a smile.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine," she said. "Jack's just pouting about not being able to go. He's worried about me, even if he doesn't admit it, but the sooner we go the sooner we can get back. So. Are we leaving now?"

Giles looked to Angel who shrugged and turned to Cordelia.

"Alright," she said, standing. "What say we blow this popsicle stand?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Part Five**

**The Vamp with No Name**

Takes place during 'For a Few Demons More'.

I own nothing. *sob* The Buffy characters belong to Joss Whedon and the Hollows characters belong to Kim Harrison, I just play with them.

Chapter One

"That's it!" Willow exclaimed startling everyone in the kitchen. Well, everyone except for Ivy.

The living vamp calmly glanced up from her laptop and looked at her lover.

"What's 'it'?" Dawn asked absently as she bent to mop up the water she'd spilled.

Willow tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and started bouncing in her chair, fingers flying over the keyboard of her own laptop.

"Well, not IT it, but close and I think it'll work, I really do. I just have to take in the differences between the two worlds and change a few ingredients and I'll have to test it of course but I think I really did it this time."

"Breathe, baby," Ivy coaxed, laying one long fingered hand over Willows, stilling her flying fingers.

Willow gave the other woman a grateful smile.

"Okay," she said. "Calm now."

Ivy ginned, the sharp tips of her canines glinting in the late afternoon light. There was something in her look that made the witch drop her gaze and blush. Dawn just rolled her eyes. Rachel chose that moment to enter from the front of the church they all lived in and dropped a handful of cut plants into the sink. She then grabbed one of the muffins Dawn had just pulled out of the oven and Mr. Fish's food. Shaking a bit of the food into the beta's bowl she took her usual seat at the table.

"Morning," she greeted.

"Hey Rache," Dawn returned, grabbing a muffin for herself and plopping down at the table, shivering a bit as Ivy's pheromones engulfed her for a moment. The living vamp smiled apologetically at her and toned it down. Willow was still bright red. Dawn smirked at her.

**Suddenly a streak of orange skittered into the kitchen and straight under Rachel's chair. Seconds later as swirling storm of Jenks' children spilled into the kitchen, their high-pitched screeching and whistling making the fuor large people all clasp hands over their ears.

"Out!" Rachel shouted, standing. "Get out! The church is her safe place, so get out!"

There was a series of whines and complaints but the mob of pixy children obeyed the other witch and left the kitchen.**

"Oh, you big meanie," Dawn teased as Rex hopped up into her lap and started purring. The teen couldn't help but snigger at the affronted look on Rachel's face as she and the cat faced off.

"Stupid cat," Rachel muttered before going back to her muffin.

"Don't take it personally, Rachel," Dawn said. "That's just how cats are. Hey, did I ever tell you about the zombie cat we had one year?"

Ivy arched an elegant eyebrow.

"Zombie cat?"

Dawn nodded.

"Yeah. See, mom had gotten this really ugly tribal mask at the gallery and decided to bring it home for some reason and ..."

The ringing of the door bell cut her off.

"That's Kisten," Rachel said, grab her bag. "I've got driver's ed today."

Dawn snickered and the other witch stuck her tongue out at her.

"Why don't you take a shower first?" Dawn suggested gesturing to Rachel's dirt speckled appearance. "I'm sure Kist will wait for you, and Willow's got some big announcement."

Rachel was silent for a moment then shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" she said then disappeared to the front of the church to let her boyfriend in.

Dawn smiled to herself. She really liked Kisten, not the way Rachel did, but more the way she had felt about Xander and Spike. The big brotherly type of like, plus, Kisten was cool. The living vampire reminded her of Spike too, from the bleached out hair to the fake British accent. Oh yeah, she totally knew that Spike's accent was faked. She'd never told him but sometimes the way he pronounced words sounded more like Giles than Sid Vicious.

She sighed, wishing she knew what had happened to her family and thanking the powers that at least she hadn't ended up here alone, then pulled herself back to the present.

"So Willow," Dawn said around a mouthful of muffin. "What's the what?"

"Huh?" the witch asked, looking a bit lost then blinked and understanding blossomed in her eyes. "Oh! I think I found a way to anchor Ivy's soul!"

**taken from the book.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: See chapter one

Silence greeted Willow's announcement.

"Did I hear you right?" came Kisten's voice from the doorway. "You can anchor our souls?"

Dawn turned to see the living vampire standing in the doorway, eyes locked on Willow.

"Um, I think so," the witch replied and pushed a strand of scarlet hair behind her ear. "I mean, I've done it a couple of times on a vampire from our world so it should be pretty easy. Of course I'd have to test it but..."

She was cut off as the ley line in the back/graveyard of the church flared to life, stealing the air for a split second. They all stared at each other for a moment before racing to the back door.

"What in the name of the Turn is going on?" Rachel demanded. She was almost always connected to the ley line that ran through her back yard and was certain that she would have felt someone tapping into it so she was pretty surprised to see the two figures emerge from the shimmering red sheet of ever after that had risen from the line.

The two figures, both men, stumbled a bit as their feet hit the earth and one began cursing, pulling his black leather jacket over his head and rushing to the shade of one of the large trees by the church. The other man looked up at the blue sky and muttered something about how it was strange that the sun here would affect the other man when none of the others had.

"That's great, Wes," the man under the tree said, shrugging back into his coat and patting gingerly at his hair and the tendrils of smoke that curled off of him. "Do you think that maybe you could ponder over that _after_ we pick up Willow and Dawn and get back to the others."

Wesley gave Angel an unfriendly look.

"I was merely making an observation. There's no reason to get snippy," he said before finally noticing the small group crowded around the door. Angel stayed under the tree as the former Watcher walked up to them.

"Hello, Willow, Dawn," he said. "You're both looking well."

"Wes," Willow said, for once at a loss for words. "How've you been?"

"As well as can be expected."

"What are you guys doing here?" Dawn demanded, glowering at the vampire under the tree. She still hadn't forgiven him for abandoning her sister in the fight that had landed them in this world.

Wesley glanced back at Angel before returning his attention to the young woman.

"It's not a social call, I'm afraid. It seems as though the First wasn't defeated like we thought. It, like yourselves, was deposited into another plane of existence and according to the last vision Cordelia received from the Powers, It is going to attempt to blend all worlds together. Only those present at the last battle will be able to do anything about it."

"Aw, crap," Dawn whined. "Lemme get my stuff."


	12. Chapter 12

**Part Six**

**Rescue Me**

Disclaimer: Say it with me now, I do not, nor will I ever, own any of these people, places, or things, just the ideas that pop into my pretty little head.

Takes place after the end of the movie 'Enchanted'

Chapter One

A bright flash of light illuminated the courtyard, leaving the last four required Champions in its wake. Dawn barely had time to orientate herself to the dimensional shift when a familiar voice shouted her name and she found herself the recipient of a crushing hug.

"Oh, God, Dawn," her sister said. "I've been so worried! Where were you? Are you okay?"

"Oh, my God, Buffy," she squealed happily, returning the hug. "Yeah, I'm fine. Willow was with me but I missed you."

The two pulled apart and Dawn's eyes widened as she took in her sister's new look; the tri-colored eyes, the near metallic gold of her hair, the soft glow of her skin, like a candle behind a screen, and of course…

"Oh, my God! Baby! You're gonna have a baby! Oh, my God!" she jumped excitedly and hugged the Slayer again.

"Yeah," Faith said, coming up to the duo. "If you think big sis is something, you should see Daddy."

Dawn turned to the other Slayer whose skin glowed like Buffy's, whose eyes contained three different colors, like Buffy's. The dark-haired Slayer grinned at the two.

"What? I don't get a hug?"

Faith was caught off guard as Anya wrapped her in an enthusiastic hug.

"Uh… Thanks?" She awkwardly patted the other woman's back. "I thought you didn't like me that much."

Anya released her and smiled.

"Oh, not anymore. Back then I thought that maybe you would try to take Xander back and I still wanted him but now I'm with Jack and Xander's having orgasms with Spike."

Faith's eyes went wide at that.

"Xander's what?" Buffy demanded as Xander chastised, "Anya!"

Spike just laughed and Faith could hear Giles muttering, "Dear Lord."

"Wow," she said as Xander suddenly found himself the recipient of Willow's undivided attention.

The witch had turned on the puppy eyes as she gazed at her best friend since kindergarten and looked at him pleadingly. He sighed.

"Come on, Wills. Don't give me that look."

"Yeah, but…You hate Spike."

Xander could only shrug; he didn't really understand the thing between them either.

"Things change."

"I'll say," Spike said, coming up to them and slinging an arm around Xander's shoulders.

Willow looked at them for a moment then her 'Resolve Face' settled into place and she nodded.

"If you're happy, Xander," she said. "Then I'm happy for you," then she turned her gaze on Spike, "And if you ever hurt him I'll beat you to death with a shovel."

That said she smiled at the two before making her way to Buffy, leaving Dawn in her place. The teen was studying the two men, a smile on her face.

"What?" Xander asked hesitantly.

"That's hot," she said before leaving the two stunned men and starting up a conversation with Anya as Wood and Faith spoke quietly beside her.

"Greetings, friends," a new voice rang out and the twelve all turned and stared at the man.

"Holy shit," Dawn swore softly. Buffy didn't even think to correct her as she too stared at the man who looked like he had just stepped out of some Disney movie, but now that she looked around, she began noticing things. Like how the scenery was just a little too bright, how the weather was just too perfect, like how the birds sitting on the castle wall were talking to each other.

The man descended the steps to the courtyard, smiling cheerily.

"Greetings," he said again. "I am Prince Edward. Welcome to Andalasia."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: see chapter one

"This place is weird," Xander said to the vampire at his side.

Spike took a long drag off of his cigarette, nodding in agreement.

"Reminds me a bit of this time at Woodstock," he said, staring out over the overly bright landscape. At Xander's questioning look, he continued, "Fed off a Flower Child, spent six hours watchin' my hand move."

Xander snorted somewhat humorlessly, still not completely used to Spike's stories of past murders but leaned against the vampire nonetheless, nuzzling against his neck, one of Spike's hot spots. Spike chuckled, dropping his cigarette to the ground.

"So what's this then?" he asked.

Xander shrugged, wrapping an arm around Spike's waist as his tongue flicked along his collarbone.

"Dunno," the young man murmured, his other hand coming to rest on one black-denim clad thigh. "Maybe I'm starting to like you."

He trailed his nose up the side of Spike's throat before latching onto the still pulse point below his jaw, wringing a low sound of pleasure out of the other man.

"That right?" he asked.

"Mm-hm," Xander replied and Spike could feel the young man smile against his skin.

The vampire suddenly twisted, pinning Xander against the wall at his back, and claimed his lips in a hungry kiss that he welcomed eagerly. Someone moaned low in their throat and both men froze. It hadn't been either of them.

"My God that is so hot!" a female voice exclaimed quietly, though, with their enhanced hearing, both Spike and Xander had no trouble hearing her.

"Shhh!" scolded another voice. "They'll hear us!"

Spike pulled away with a groan, dropping his head to Xander's chest as he recognized both Dawn and Anya as their voyeurs.

"Bloody hell," he swore softly, as the Were groaned in embarrassment.

"Crap!" came Anya's loud whisper. "See what you did? You made them stop!"

"Me!" was Dawn's indignant reply. "You're the one who was all with the inappropriate moaning!"

"It is perfectly acceptable to moan while watching two attractive men making out. Don't you ever watch porn?"

"And as fascinating as this conversation is," Xander cut them off. "I could really go the rest of my natural life without hearing the answer to that."

"And watchin' better be all you're doin', Bit," Spike put in as he turned to face the two.

"Pfft," Dawn snorted as she and Anya emerged from behind some shrubbery. "Please. Between Jenks' kids and Ivy and Kisten's noses I can barely change my shampoo without the whole house knowing about it. Like I'm really gonna get sweaty with someone before I have my own place?"

She shook her head.

"Not likely."

Anya looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm so sorry, Dawn," she said. "The crew doesn't seem to mind when Jack and I have enthusiastic loud sex when they're around, but then, we do live on a ship most of the time so…"

"And I am officially uncomfortable," Xander announced.

Spike reached down to pull the other man to his feet and addressed the two females.

"So, was there a reason you came to find us, other than getting' your kicks spyin' on a private moment?"

Dawn had the grace to look embarrassed before saying, "Buffy's called a War Council. We need everybody there."

"Right then," Spike said as he ran hands over his hair and made sure he was presentable. "Let's get this show on the road."

With a lusty swat to Xander's rear the bleached vampire strode out of the courtyard, leaving the two snickering women and a blushing Were to trail behind him.

"Okay," Buffy proclaimed from where she stood at the head of a very long table, a topographical map spread out in front of her. "According to the chipmunk," she had an odd look on her face when she said that, "The First was first spotted in the Fields of Contentment and then crossed the Stream of Happiness and was last seen moving through the, uh, Valley of… Sweet Dreams."

She frowned momentarily, as though she couldn't quite believe what she was saying. She wasn't the only one. After a long stretch of awkward silence Giles cleared his throat.

"Right then," he said then turned to the chipmunk in question. "What, uh… what do you have to report?"

The chipmunk, Pip, scampered to the middle of the map and puffed up at the attention.

"Well," he started. "We knew right away that somethin' wasn't quite right when that thing first showed up. Was actin' really shady, lookin' fer witches and talkin' to the Cyclops, tryin' to garner support for something but nobody really knew what."

Pushing past the absolute surreal experience of gathering intel from a talking chipmunk, Dawn tried to place its accent. For the most part, everything in this place sounded like Giles, but Pip sounded American, some sort of New York accent… maybe Bronx? Possibly New Jersey which she found weird for reasons even she couldn't quite decide on. Anyway, back to her daily dose of crazy…

"So, you have, erm… people… watching the First?" Buffy asked Pip.

"Yeah," Pip replied. "A buncha birds an' some deer and such."

Buffy nodded.

"Where's It at now?"

* * *

According to Pip, who heard from the birds, who were following the deer, who were stalking the First, the entity known as the First Evil was currently residing at the edge of the Sunlit Forest.

Angel had the amulet again, or a similar amulet, Dawn wasn't all too clear on that but it was apparently good enough for Buffy so, there they were. And there was the First.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Disclaimer's at the bottom

They could tell that it was the First because it still looked like Buffy. It ran to them, flinging Itself at their feet and clinging to Angel's legs.

"Thank you," It said. "Thank you for coming. Please, you have to get me out of here! They won't. Stop. Singing!"

'They' being a large group of animals, all cartoons like everything else in this world, and they were indeed singing. The merry tune stopped as the animals caught sight of the new arrivals. A little cartoon bird fluttered over to them and landed on Buffy's shoulder.

"Hello," it said in a high voice. "You look like our new friend. You're very pretty."

"Erm, thank you," Buffy replied, putting a hand up and the bird hopped onto her palm. She held it up to her face. "Do you like your new friend?"

"Very much. She's really funny but I don't know why she keeps running away."

"I think she's just playing with you," Buffy told the bird then grinned evilly at the First. "Why don't you guys go play some more?"

"Okay," the bird chirped and took to the air. "Come on guys!"

The happy animals all clustered around the First and began to pull It away as It screamed.

"No! Don't leave me here with them! You can't! Nooooooo!"

As the group disappeared over a hill Buffy turned to the others.

"I think the First will be fine here."

Faith laughed.

"Damn B, now that's just evil."

"Well, that was rather anti-climactic," Spike said, then turned to Angel. "So Gramps, what say you get me an' Xan back home? We've got a siren to turn."

"Yeah," Faith added. "I really need to get back to Sage, he's kinda clueless when it comes to kids. Rose and Mary probably have him tied to a tree by now."

Buffy nodded, a hand on her rounded belly.

"Bar's probably freaking out."

"I need to get back to the ship," Anya said. "I don't trust Jack not to spend all of our money on rum and I don't like the looks that Scarlet woman was giving him."

"I rather agree with Anya."

This from Giles. At the odd looks from the others he rolled his eyes and continued.

"I wouldn't put it past those ruffians not to run roughshod all over my cabin."

Angel frowned.

"You guys… wanna go back?" he asked. "All of you?"

"Angel," Buffy said, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, the other perched on her distended belly. "I'm married, Faith has kids and everybody else…"

"We're happy where we landed, is what she's trying to say," Willow finished for her friend. She smiled around at the group. "Don't get me wrong, I miss everybody every day, I'm sure we all do…"

"But, you can't all be happy," he interjected and turned to Robin. "You, at least, couldn't wait to get out of that world. Am I right?"

Robin shrugged.

"It wasn't that bad but personally, I prefer indoor plumbing and electricity. Andrew seemed happy enough though."

Angel nodded, happy that at least someone agreed with him. He turned to Xander next.

"You can't tell me that _you're_ happy where you are?" he said challengingly. "Stuck with Spike and a bunch of monsters."

Xander shrugged.

"It's not that bad," he admitted. "I mean, sure, at first I would have done anything to get back home but, stuff happened."

He glanced shyly at Spike and sidled close to him, their shoulders touching.

"It's my home now and I think it's where we belong."

Unable to shake any of them off their chosen paths, Angel agreed to send each pair back to the dimension they'd been sent to after the Hellmouth blew. Cordelia had gripped his hand tightly and smiled up at him. He grinned down at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

After returning to the castle and reporting that the First would no longer be a nuisance to anyone, the vampire and seer turned Higher Power set up the spell to return the Scoobies to their chosen planes of existence. With one last teary goodbye all around the whole off world group was swallowed up by a white light. When it faded, the courtyard was empty.

**Epilogue**

Xander and Spike reappeared where they'd first been dropped off by the blast over a year ago. Anita's kitchen fared better this time around though, mostly because the two men were the only ones in the whole house. Breathing a deep, cleansing breath Xander and Spike locked gazes, an entire conversation taking place in complete silence in the time it took for Xander's heart to beat and then they were moving toward each other, hands reaching out, grasping cloth and caressing flesh as their lips met. They knew they'd made the right decision. This was home.

Spike pulled away and grabbed Xander's hand, dragging the willing Were toward the bedroom Anita had set aside for them upstairs.

"What about Thea?" Xander asked as the vampire pulled him up the stairs. "We did kinda disappear on her."

Spike's blue gaze locked on Xander's face, an as yet unnamed emotion shining clearly within their depths.

"She can wait," he said and pulled the young man to him again. Xander went willingly.

"Mommy!" twin cries of happiness greeted the two Slayers as they reappeared in the middle of the Great Hall, seemingly only moments after they'd been whisked away. Rose and Mary plowed into Faith's legs. The dark haired Slayer bent to sweep her daughters into her arms, almost glowing with happiness. She rose to her feet as Sage followed behind their girls, raising up on tiptoe and pulling him into a hungry kiss, her hands gripping tight at the base of his wings.

"Buffy," Barinthus questioned softly. "Are you well?"

She slowly smiled up at him and nodded, leaning into his strong arms and finally let the past go.

"You know," she said. "I think I am."

Anya pounced before the retina searing glow had faded, tackling the pirate captain back against the mast and planting a forceful passionate kiss on his surprised lips. After only a second's hesitation Jack wrapped his arms around the ex-demon and spun them, Anya's back meeting the wood hard enough to force the breath from her lungs. She grinned up at him through her lashes.

"Mmm," she purred happily. "Can we go have sex now?"

"For you pet?" he asked. "Anything you want. Mr. Gibbs!"

"Aye Cap'n!"

"You have the helm," he looked to Giles. "Find a heading, Mr. Giles," he said, tossing something to the other man.

Giles caught the compass easily.

"I'm sure I can come up with something, Captain," he assured.

"Good," Jack proclaimed then swept Anya up in his arms and strode purposefully toward his cabin.

Giles shook his head as the door slammed behind the pair. Finding the eyes of the crew upon him the ex-Watcher opened the compass. He thought he'd rather like to continue the search for the Fountain of Youth; it would be quite an adventure if nothing else. The needle settled and Ripper smirked.

Dawn and Willow stepped out of the shimmering sheet of Ever After behind the church, finding Ivy and Jenks both waiting for them. Ivy rose gracefully and Dawn smiled at the way the two women tried to restrain themselves from running to the others' arms. Jenks had no problem tossing risqué comments at the oblivious witch and living vampire though Ivy did send him an especially dirty look before a swarm of his kids descended on Dawn, their happy cries drowning out anything else their father might have had to say.

Laughing, surrounded by a shimmering cloud of pixy children, Dawn was happy. Life was good.

In a bookshop (1) in Soho, an angel and a demon sat in the back room, sharing a pot of tea (2), when, suddenly, the air was split by a massively loud noise and a blinding flash of white. The two man-shaped creatures glanced at one another then at the three men who had appeared beside them.

Wesley recovered first and peered around, his eyes immediately settling on the two seated at the table across from their little pile and groaned.

"Bloody wonderful."

Gunn stirred enough to utter a pained, "Ow," to which Robin responded, "I couldn't agree more," before the three men attempted to disentangle themselves from each other.

Crowley peered at the three over the top of his ever-present sunglasses then flicked his yellow-eyed gaze to his drinking partner.

"Expecting company, angel?" he asked as his counterpart immediately sobered himself with a thought and set about helping the three strangers to their feet.

Aziraphale ignored him in favor of addressing the man he was pulling to his feet.

"Are you quite all right?"

"I've got to say that I have been better," Wesley replied, accepting the hand-up.

Gunn grunted as he pulled Robin to his feet, muttering under his breath, "I told you guys Angel didn't know what he was doin'. Where the hell are we?"

"Soho," Aziraphale supplied. At the man's blank look he went broader, "England."

"Great," the man grumbled as the third perked up.

"Really?" Robin asked. "I've always wanted to go to England."

"Congratulations," Crowley dead-panned.

Robin glance at the man in black (4), then did a double-take as Crowley's shades had slipped down while he observed the spectacle and he hadn't gotten around to righting them. The former principal sighed.

"You're not a vampire, are you?"

Crowley arched an eyebrow. He'd been called a great many things in his six thousand years (5) on earth, but vampire had never been one of them.

"Some of yours, angel?" he asked then peered closer at Wesley and Gunn, sensing a faint taint on their souls. "Perhaps some of mine."

Wesley grit his teeth.

"Bloody Wolfram and Hart."

More a giant bookshelf, really, seeing as how very few books ever seemed to leave the premises.

Liberally dosed with a very nice Scotch whiskey; it had been one of _those_ weeks (3) again.

Not as bad as the Apocalypse-that-wasn't but still quite dreadful.

Not _the_ Man in Black of course, though the demon cut quite a dashing figure if he did say so himself. Enough to give Mr. Cash a run for his money at any rate.

Give or take a few centuries where he was either back in Hell or had decided to sleep through it.

Angel landed hard and Cordelia landed on top of him, knocking the unneeded air from his undead lungs.

"Sorry," Cordelia mumbled as they sat up where they'd landed.

They were in the middle of a street, deserted but for two guys, three women, and a whole bunch of Hellhounds. Without even thinking about it, Cordelia began to glow. The Hounds and one of the women immediately cringed away from the pure light, the Hounds whining, tucking their tails and cowering by the woman. No, now that Cordelia had had a chance to really look at the dark haired woman she could see beneath the human face to the swirling blackness beyond.

"What are you?" the thing demanded. "You're not an angel…"

"It doesn't matter what I am," Cordy declared, silencing the thing. "What really matters is that if you wanna keep calling this world home you'll pack up your freaky puppies and get the hell away from these people before I count to three. One, two…"

The thing disappeared before she even finished the second word, taking the Hellhounds with it and Cordelia breathed a sigh of relief and turned off the glow before turning to Angel, only to find three shot guns and a pistol aimed at the two of them. Blinking a bit she pasted on her most winning smile.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Cordelia."

Author's Notes: And that's the end of that. It's been fun, even if the muse did crap out on me for a little while there. The last two parts are crosses with Good Omens and Supernatural respectively, neither of which I own. GO belongs to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman and Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke et. all.

I don't think I'll be writing beyond these but if a bunny strikes feel free to run with any of the story lines I've started, just let me know in a review 'cause I'd love to visit the grand-bunnies ^_^

Anyway, thanks again for reading, hope you had as much fun as I did.

~Dire Banshee


End file.
